List Sets

Middle Earth groups as bands/musicians

  • U9 – still making records after all these years
  • Entya – new age music and nature sounds
  • Rainbow 5 – (the istari) “this quest has taken it’s toll, he lost the ring too many times before”
  • Elvenessence – a goth band, their few hit songs overplayed on the radio
  • Smeagol Diddy – the rappa “he took my ring, I loved that thing, of it I’ll sing, yo!”
  • Morgoth Manson – takes himself way too seriously. Backup vocals – the Eye of Sauron
  • Faraminem – always whining about his family issues in his songs

After LOTR, occupation-character matches

  • Sam – TV Show “Cooking with Taters”
  • Legolas – weather announcer (“the sky grows dark… snow is coming”)
  • Gollum/Smeagol – Sports announcer
  • Sauron – adverts for Visine
  • Galadriel – Telephone Psychic
  • Gimli – Got Milk ads
  • Theoden – adverts for anti-aging creme
  • Grima – Guidance Counsellor
  • Frodo – hand model for commercials
  • Celeborn – D.A.R.E spokesperson

Disney songs as character theme songs

  • Aragorn – I just Can’t Wait to be King (Lion King)
  • Sam – You’ve Got a Friend in Me (Toy Story)
  • Eowyn – I’ll Make a Man Out of You (Mulan)
  • Gimli – Heigh Ho Heigh Ho (Snow White)
  • Gandalf – Bibbidy Boppity Boo (Cinderella)
  • Celeborn – Pink Elephants on Parade (Dumbo)
  • Frodo – Zero to Hero (Hercules)
  • Arwen – Some Day my Prince Will Come (Snow White)

Middle Earth election slogans

  • Eowyn – need a ruler? She’s your man.
  • Socks – together we shall tread our enemies underfoot!
  • Aragorn – the perfect choice when what you need is NOT a king.
  • Sauron – Why settle for the LESSER of two evils?
  • Bill – supports the hard working citizen.
  • Celeborn – love and peace for all…
  • Treebeard – the upstanding citizen.
  • Bilbo – Eleventy one more years!
  • Gwaihir – will take the economy to new heights!
  • Wild Men – no government for Middle Earth, run free!

Middle Earth mixed races

  • Ents x Goblins = Entlins (aww…cute widdle entlins…)
  • Wild men x socks = Wocks (good to throw at enemies)
  • Elves x Humans = Elmans (glue?)
  • Hobbits X Elves = Hobbes (excellent butlers)
  • Elves x hobbits = Elvits (a rare skin condition?)
  • Humans x Hobbits = Humbits (Well liked by Mr.Scrooge)
  • Dwarves x Elves = Dwelves
  • Goblins x Hobbits = Gobbits (not pleasant creatures)
  • Dwarves x Humans = Dwarmans

Frodo shows up on your doorstep holding the ring, you….

  • Ask him for Legolas’ address.
  • Invite him in for elevenses.
  • Punch him in the face just for the heck of it.
  • Think he’s a door-to-door salesman and refuse to open the door.
  • Grab him, tie him up, then phone Mordor
  • Yell “Nooo! Eviiiill!!! Keep it away!” and slam the door.
  • Invite him in and lull him into a false sense of security before stealing the ring.
  • Punch him in the face and grab the ring.

Freakiest potential casting choices

  • Richard Simmons as Gollum
  • Martha Stewart as Arwen
  • Kermit the Frog as Bilbo
  • Oprah Winfrey as Galadriel
  • Martin Short as Legolas
  • Eddie Murphy as Aragorn
  • Matt LeBlanc(Joey from Friends) as Elrond
  • Barbara Walters as Lurtz
  • Peter Jackson as Frodo
  • Tim Curry as Saruman