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Middle Earth groups as bands/musicians
- U9 – still making records after all these years
- Entya – new age music and nature sounds
- Rainbow 5 – (the istari) “this quest has taken it’s toll, he lost the ring too many times before”
- Elvenessence – a goth band, their few hit songs overplayed on the radio
- Smeagol Diddy – the rappa “he took my ring, I loved that thing, of it I’ll sing, yo!”
- Morgoth Manson – takes himself way too seriously. Backup vocals – the Eye of Sauron
- Faraminem – always whining about his family issues in his songs
After LOTR, occupation-character matches
- Sam – TV Show “Cooking with Taters”
- Legolas – weather announcer (“the sky grows dark… snow is coming”)
- Gollum/Smeagol – Sports announcer
- Sauron – adverts for Visine
- Galadriel – Telephone Psychic
- Gimli – Got Milk ads
- Theoden – adverts for anti-aging creme
- Grima – Guidance Counsellor
- Frodo – hand model for commercials
- Celeborn – D.A.R.E spokesperson
Disney songs as character theme songs
- Aragorn – I just Can’t Wait to be King (Lion King)
- Sam – You’ve Got a Friend in Me (Toy Story)
- Eowyn – I’ll Make a Man Out of You (Mulan)
- Gimli – Heigh Ho Heigh Ho (Snow White)
- Gandalf – Bibbidy Boppity Boo (Cinderella)
- Celeborn – Pink Elephants on Parade (Dumbo)
- Frodo – Zero to Hero (Hercules)
- Arwen – Some Day my Prince Will Come (Snow White)
Middle Earth election slogans
- Eowyn – need a ruler? She’s your man.
- Socks – together we shall tread our enemies underfoot!
- Aragorn – the perfect choice when what you need is NOT a king.
- Sauron – Why settle for the LESSER of two evils?
- Bill – supports the hard working citizen.
- Celeborn – love and peace for all…
- Treebeard – the upstanding citizen.
- Bilbo – Eleventy one more years!
- Gwaihir – will take the economy to new heights!
- Wild Men – no government for Middle Earth, run free!
Middle Earth mixed races
- Ents x Goblins = Entlins (aww…cute widdle entlins…)
- Wild men x socks = Wocks (good to throw at enemies)
- Elves x Humans = Elmans (glue?)
- Hobbits X Elves = Hobbes (excellent butlers)
- Elves x hobbits = Elvits (a rare skin condition?)
- Humans x Hobbits = Humbits (Well liked by Mr.Scrooge)
- Dwarves x Elves = Dwelves
- Goblins x Hobbits = Gobbits (not pleasant creatures)
- Dwarves x Humans = Dwarmans
Frodo shows up on your doorstep holding the ring, you….
- Ask him for Legolas’ address.
- Invite him in for elevenses.
- Punch him in the face just for the heck of it.
- Think he’s a door-to-door salesman and refuse to open the door.
- Grab him, tie him up, then phone Mordor
- Yell “Nooo! Eviiiill!!! Keep it away!” and slam the door.
- Invite him in and lull him into a false sense of security before stealing the ring.
- Punch him in the face and grab the ring.
Freakiest potential casting choices
- Richard Simmons as Gollum
- Martha Stewart as Arwen
- Kermit the Frog as Bilbo
- Oprah Winfrey as Galadriel
- Martin Short as Legolas
- Eddie Murphy as Aragorn
- Matt LeBlanc(Joey from Friends) as Elrond
- Barbara Walters as Lurtz
- Peter Jackson as Frodo
- Tim Curry as Saruman