Shortened / Rewritten LOTR

LOTR Written in a Politically Correct Manner – by Gothmog

Politically Correct LOTR – written by Whistler. Submitted by Gothmog

Book-A-Minute: LOTR – by David J. Parker and Samuel Stoddard of Rinkworks.com. Funny and scarily accurate.

The See the Ring, the Ring is Bad – by Legolas son of Thranduil
LOTR told in the style of “see spot, see spot run.”

  • Part One“I know a secret Bilbo,” says Gandalf. “If you take off the door, then no one can knock on the door because there is no door.”
  • Part Two“I wish my last name was not Brandybuck. I wish it was Christmas. Then my name would be Merry Christmas”
  • Part Three“Made in Mordor” and “Made of 100% recycled materials” and “DO NOT EAT.”
  • Part Four“Do not give it to me! Do not tempt me! It is a bad ring! It scares me! It will make me do bad things! It will make me run over rats to make them flat! It will make me put dish soap in fountains! It will make me steal cakes! It will make me fib! It will make me draw on city walls!
  • Part FiveSee Sam. He grabs a thing. The thing is a pan from his pack. He lifts it. He swings hard. He hits Frodo very hard. Frodo falls. He falls flat on his face. He does not get up. He is taking an unwanted nap. “That was not so nice!” says Gandalf. “You should not hit your pal so hard! It was not nice at all. But it was very fun to see!”

Lord of the Rings Hand Puppet Theater by Jerry the Frog Productions

Lord of the Rings: Breadbox Edition by Evadne

  • FOTR – Shortened, but not quite as shortened as some other shortened FOTRs.
  • TTT – Three hours never gets any shorter does it?
  • ROTK – “Denethor Insanity Meter = Not just screws, but entire pieces of machinery loose.”

The Revised Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring – by OlorintheWhite

The Hastily Assembled 1 page FOTR – Laine

The Thirty Minute Theater Company presents The Fellowship of the Ring – by Withywindle
The Fellowship of the Ring in 28 minutes-ish slightly abridged but not so much as you would really notice.

The Two Towers, the Condensed Version – by Molly W.
A very condensed version of The Two Towers….but all the important parts are still there…

Return of the King, the Condensed Version – Molly W.
“PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ THE BOOK: You know, it’s interesting: even though I’ve read the book, I have no idea what’s going on.”