The Middle Earth Tattler


There I was, in an ancient monastary, doing research on agricultural production in the middle ages. The subject was anything but exciting, just records on how much was harvested and by whom. The records were written on fragile parchment sheets, dusty and brittle. As I was carefully sifting through yet another stack of parchment, a few sheets fluttered to the floor. I could tell at once they were quite different from the records I had been reading. Looking closer, I was suprised to notice they were written in a language that markedly different from the language of the monastary records, but also familiar. With a jolt, I realized I had seen this language before. My agricultural research forgotten, I began to piece together a translation. The name of the publication was, if my translation is correct, ‘The Middle Earth Tattler’. Continuing my translation, it became clear this was in fact a gossip or tabloid type of publication. Well, you can immagine my shock and suprise. These documents shed a very different light on the people and events of the past. I will continue publishing excerpts as I am able to translate the documents. – Collinsmom


Tattler: Issue 1

  • Party at Elrond’s!!!
  • Galadriel’ s Heartbreak
  • Palantir Viewing Leads to Violence
  • Isengard Trashed! Saruman Broke!

Tattler: Issue 2

  • Mithrandir Arrested!! – A Middle Earth Tattler exclusive
  • Peek-a-boo! Eye See You!!
  • Miscellaneous advertisements and classified ads

Tattler: Issue 3

  • Baby Boromir!
  • Bombadil Busted!!
  • Miscellaneous advertisements and classified ads

Tattler: Issue 4

  • Deflated Wind Lord
  • Terror in the Shire!!!
  • The Codes of Westmarch (first in a two part series)
  • Miscellaneous advertisements

Tattler: Issue 5

  • More Codes of Westmarch
  • Middle Earth Watchers ALERT:
  • Astounding Predictions of Noldordamus
  • Miscellaneous advertisements

Tattler: Issue 6

  • Lassie Came Home
  • Soused Sovereign Spotted Speeding with Wacky Wizard
  • Economic Development Planned
  • Community Calendar
  • Miscellaneous advertisements

Tattler: Issue 7

  • Middle Earth Watchers Alert
  • Horny Hobbit
  • Weather Woes Come Out in the Wash
  • Gimli-Gimliah (A Tattler Exclusive!)
  • Miscellaneous advertisements

Tattler: Issue 8:

  • ShieldBabes Bombshell
  • Public Record
  • Middle Earth Watchers Alert
  • Advertisement: Entish to Westron Dictionary of Words Commonly Spoken in Conversations Between Ents, or Between an Ent and Someone Else or By People Who Want to Know What Something Would Sound Like if it was Translated into Entish LTD
  • Miscellaneous advertisements
Tattler: Issue 9

  • Legolas caught without Figleaf!
  • Galadriel Answers Your Gardening Questions
  • Community Events
  • Moria Investigation Opened
  • Sauron’s Family Reunion
  • Tragic Love Story in Mirkwood Kingdom
  • Miscellaneous advertisements

Tattler: Issue 10

  • Tipsy Took!!!
  • Continued Poverty in Mordor
  • Museum’s Mistake
  • Ask Rosie
  • Special Weather Statement
  • Saruman the Dirty
  • Miscellaneous advertisements/announcements

Tattler: Issue 11

  • Elrond’s Wild Hair
  • Top Rock Songs of the Third Age
  • Doctor Elrond answers your questions
  • Weekend Party Turns to Trouble
  • Illness Sweeps Through Ents
  • Wild Frat Party gets out of Hand
  • Miscellaneous advertisements/announcements

Tattler: Issue 12

  • Terror on the Anduin!
  • Woofs and Wows of the Third Age
  • Local Residents Get Stoned
  • Gobblintown Ruckus
  • Obituaries
  • Miscellaneous advertisements

Tattler: Issue 13

  • Picnic Panic!
  • The Curious Case of the Con-artist King – Part One
  • Valarscope
  • Obituaries
  • Miscellaneous advertisements

Tattler: Issue 14

  • The Curious Case of the Con-artist King – Part Two
  • Council of Elrond, October 25th
  • Victims Saved From Cracks of Doom
  • Saruman and His Technicolor Dream Coat
  • Miscellaneous advertisements

Tattler: Issue 15

  • Eagle Eye Spotted in No Fly Zone
  • Sandyman Arrested
  • Announcement: 7th Annual Minion Conference
  • Sam Gamgee Answers Your Cooking Questions
  • Trashed Trotters Annoy Army
  • Miscellaneous advertisements