The Middle Earth Tattler – Issue 6

The Tattler
Issue 6
Lassie Came Home

By Felin Gatharbaled

Word has come out of Ered Mithrin of the amazing discovery of an orc child, apparently raised by wargs. Experts in orc psychology hail this as an extraordinary opportunity to gauge the impact of environment versus hereditary in the psychology of orcs.

The preliminary findings have thus far been astonishing, though researchers caution not to draw definitive conclusions from these early findings. The girl child, named by the researchers Lassie, displays a quiet and happy temperament. She works well in groups and is generous and willing to share her food and possessions. Lassie responds well to correction, is eager to please authority figures and is affectionate toward others.

“I was absolutely floored,” commented one researcher. “I wish we could send every baby orc to the wargs if this is how they’d turn out.”

There has been some concern over reintroducing Lassie back into her native environment. ” She’s tame…erm…civilized now,” lamented one psychologist. “I don’t think she’d be able to survive in the wild.”

Fortunately, Lassie has successfully bonded with the family of one of the researchers and they have agreed to let her live with them for the time being.

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Soused Sovereign Spotted Speeding with Wacky Wizard

According to eye witnesses, King Elessar and the wizard Gandalf the White were pulled over by Gondorian city police this past week for drag racing their steeds through the city streets of Minas Tirith.

The pair were seen downing ale earlier in the evening at an exclusive Sixth Circle eatery, comparing the strengths of their horses, Brego and Shadowfax. Later the racing duo was seen careening down the city streets, terrifying residents and damaging property as they passed. The two were finally pulled over by a patrol in the 1700 block of the Second Circle. Passers-by reported the officers seemed very flustered and embarrassed when they realized the identities of the offenders. The officers took the reins from the tipsy twosome and led them back to the palace to sleep it off.

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Economic Development Planned

by Gamba Hlothraningi

The Ithilian Economic Development Council is working to put together an economic incentive package to encourage industrial development in Mordor.

“The area has a lot to offer as an industrial site. There’s a resident worker population available and the energy costs will be low due to the nearby geothermal source,” commented one council member. “The surrounding mountains provide good protection if any product research or testing turn out badly, and worries about damage to native wildlife and vegetation are nil.”

The incentive package is rumored to include small business grants and low interest loans, tax incentives and infrastructure improvements. It is rumored security for the region is to be provided by the Gondorian army.

 

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Community Calendar

Advanced Elven Archery Seminar

Will cover:

-Multiple arrow-multiple target technique

-Shooting around corners; Developing your elven-eye

-Stab-n-shoot; a demonstration

-Gleaning arrows from the battlefield; what’s worth saving

8:00a.m.-4:00p.m. cost: 15g.p. Hythe State Park

Seminar attendance limited to 40.

Contact Thangorn at Mallorn-4300

Bring your own equipment, however equipment will be
available if needed.

The family of Ningolodh invites the community to an open house in honor of his 3500th Birthday. Sunday April 11th, 2p.m. to 6p.m. Rivendel community center, Room 4B (use east entrance) No gifts, please.

Hobbits and Hand guns: A round table discussion/ brainstorming session on reducing the crime rate in the ‘tween population. 7:00p.m. Sunday, May 28th. Main Auditorium, Frogmorton Community College

Eriador Ranger Club meeting. You know when. You know where. You know who. Bring a snack to share.

Gondor Girl’s Club will be holding a bake sale on Saturday. There will be tables set up at all 5th circle banks. Proceeds to be used for their trip to Dol Amroth.

Gondorian Ranger Pups will soon be holding a clean up/fix up weekend. If you know a shut-in or senior citizen who would appreciate some help, contact leader Ranger Gordien.

Dwarf Miners Union Local#3478 will be holding a Hog Roast to benefit the families of the workers injured or killed in the recent Iron Mountains Whistling Pass Mine cave-in. 4:00p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Saturday in the Mountain Meadows City park. Entertainment provided by Withered Heath Singers.

The Pelennor Militia will be hosting a special speaker at the December 15th meeting. Ramban Lapuc, member of the elite Ithilian Ranger Battalion will be presenting Fast and Fabulous; battlefield armor repair and first aid using duct tape. The presentation will begin at 6:30 p.m. and the regular meeting will start at 8:00p.m. Pelennor Grange Hall. The public is welcome.

Written by CollinsMom of Ringbearer.org